Bard Quest

You [any of your characters]--yes, you!--are a bard of the medieval ages, if that wasn't obvious enough. You are an expert musician and have a PhD in Song from Gargleshnouts Academy, class of 903. You have been invited to perform before a bored and grumpy king. Your hands tremble as they clutch your humble instrument. You think to yourself "This is it. This is where all the hard work pays off. This is a bard's time to shine!"

What will you do?

>Introduce yourself!
>Shine his shoes.
>Sing a ballad about the king's beautiful queen!

~~~~~

Basically how this will work, is you will reply to this post with ">[your character]: [your choice of action]" and then a short paragraph of your character doing the action. Example:

>Sabrina: Introduce yourself!

Sabrina gives a small curtsy to the king, giving him a friendly little smile. "My name is Sabrina Marcs. It's an honor to stand in your presence." She stands straight once more and takes out her lute.

I would then reply with the kings response.
If your character chooses a bad response, and/or is killed, I will ask if you would like to try again from checkpoint. This is where you can drop out of the RP if you're bored with it. Just say ">Quit" or ">Exit" or something. I would be sad, though.
Checkpoint posts will be titled "CHECKPOINT" so yeah.

EDIT: Also. No characters will cross paths. Unless I want them to. All of this happens on separate planes of existence. Same situation, different people.

This entire thing is a parody or "mock game" of text-based adventure games. I thought this would be fun and different, so there you have it.

>Mia: Introduce yourself!

Mia looks before the king, and gives a small curtesy, incredibly nervous. "I am Mia, my king, the bard" She says, taking out her lyre, and looking at the king.

Aimee wrote:

>Mia: Introduce yourself!

Mia looks before the king, and gives a small curtesy, incredibly nervous. "I am Mia, my king, the bard" She says, taking out her flute, and looking at the king.

At the expense of getting started with your performance right away, you opt for an introduction. Surely this king cares who you are, or anything about you at all, for that matter! Contrariwise, the king gives an uninterested grunt, and waves a hand as an order for you to start playing.

What will you do?

>Screw singing and shine those shoes!
>Sing a ballad about the king's beautiful queen!

(I really hope the king has a beautiful queen, because if not, das awkward)

>Mia: Sing a ballad about the king's beautiful queen!

Mia clears her throat, and strums her lyre. She begins to sign about the great beauty of the queen, and how her hair shines like rivers of gold.

Aimee wrote:

(I really hope the king has a beautiful queen, because if not, das awkward)

>Mia: Sing a ballad about the king's beautiful queen!

Mia clears her throat, and strums her lyre. She begins to sign about the great beauty of the queen, and how her hair shines like rivers of gold.

You launch into an absolutely exquisite melodic paean about the king's wife!

But the king is a homosexual!

Despite so, he finds the song quite beautiful, and is pleased. He appoints you as head dragon slayer of the kingdom, for no reason at all other than he has the power to do so anyway! You truly are an unlikely hero thrust into the position of greatness.


What will you do?

> Realize that you probably aren't qualified to slay a dragon.
> Lute Lyre solo!
> Go to the blacksmith. To forge Bard Armor +5, of course.

(
Is he secretly Sheogorath?)

>Mia: Realise that you probably aren't qualified to slay a dragon.

Mia laughs nervously. "Em, I've never even see a dragon before. I don't think I'm quite qualified" she stammers.

(*finds that amusing, watches from afar*

Aimee wrote:

(["I knew it" gif here because I don't want to reply to that and clutter up the thread with another one]
Is he secretly Sheogorath?)

>Mia: Realise that you probably aren't qualified to slay a dragon.

Mia laughs nervously. "Em, I've never even see a dragon before. I don't think I'm quite qualified" she stammers.

((No idea who that is, so no.
Unless you want him to be, I guess.))

You then suddenly realize the contrary, remembering the local dragon is simply the size of a chicken.

What will you do?

>In that case, lute lyre solo! Woo!
>Say goodbye to the king and go to that blacksmith.

(A mad prince from oblivion. He seems to have violent mood swings.
Also, I can't be serious anymore)

>Mia: In that case, lute lyre solo! Woo!

Mia decides that sounds rather simple, and rocks out some banging tunes on her lyre.

Aimee wrote:

(A mad prince from oblivion. He seems to have violent mood swings.
Also, I can't be serious anymore)

>Mia: In that case, lute lyre solo! Woo!

Mia decides that sounds rather simple, and rocks out some banging tunes on her lyre.

((Mmmmhm.
That's okay. This isn't supposed to be serious at all.))

Oh yes! You rip out some mean chords on your instrument. The monster ballad rocks the palace hall, as the subjects are in awe of your lightning fingers. You're sure the king loves it!

The king has heard it before. You are exiled from the kingdom.

What will you do now?

>Go slay that dragon and earn your way back into the kingdom!
>Sneak back in to pay a visit to the blacksmith first, and stock up on supplies.
>Accept your fate and wander around the nearby dark, scary, cold, did I say dark yet?, forest.

(King plz ;-; )

>Mia: Sneak back in to pay a visit to the blacksmith first, and stock up on supplies.

Mia sneaks back in past the guards, and creeps back to the blacksmiths. She needs armor if she wants to slay a dragon.

Aimee wrote:

(King plz ;-; )

>Mia: Sneak back in to pay a visit to the blacksmith first, and stock up on supplies.

Mia sneaks back in past the guards, and creeps back to the blacksmiths. She needs armor if she wants to slay a dragon.

You wander into the city streets to prepare for your questing. You wonder if you might want to stock up on several dragon corpse satchels just to be on the safe side. You head straight to the blacksmiths' to get armor +5.

"I can make yer bard armor for you. +5 wot, though?"
The gentleman wonders what item, in addition to the armor, you would like in quantity of five?

What will you say?

>+5 Pulchritude (Blacksmith: "Ah, ya got yerself one o' them 'extreme dates', eh?")
>+5 Dragon Corpse Satchels (Blacksmith: "A'ight, but wot'cha need 'em for?")
>+5 issues of your finest fashion magazines. (Blacksmith: "...")

> Mia: +5 Dragon Corpse Satchels
> Blacksmith: "A'ight, but wot'cha need 'em for?"

Mia smiles. "For dragon corpses! And potatoes" she says, ordering five.

Aimee wrote:

> Mia: +5 Dragon Corpse Satchels
> Blacksmith: "A'ight, but wot'cha need 'em for?"

Mia smiles. "For dragon corpses! And potatoes" she says, ordering five.

((Po
ta
toes))

The smith wonders if just five satchels will be enough, considering your obvious natural abilities in the field of dragon slaying.
You ask him how many he recommends.
A while later, the smith as persuaded you to purchase 10 satchels! He tells you to come back any time in case you need more.
You leave the shop, suddenly realizing you just got ripped off.
Dammit.

What will you do now?

>Pause game; check your stats.
>Go back in an ask to trade the recently-bought satchels for the armor +5 pulchritude.
>Leave the city before you're seen.

>Mia: Leave the city before you're seen.

Mia decides to sneak back out of the city, not wanting to be caught by the guards. Maybe she'd slay dragons tomorrow.

Aimee wrote:

>Mia: Leave the city before you're seen.

Mia decides to sneak back out of the city, not wanting to be caught by the guards. Maybe she'd slay dragons tomorrow.

You leave the city.




What, you expect me to say more on the matter?

What will you do now?

>Explore that aforementioned forest.
>Set up camp against the west wall of the city.

(XD)

>Mia: Set up camp against the west wall of the city.

Mia sets up a camp for herself, deciding it would not be a good idea to venture into that forest when it was getting darker.

Aimee wrote:

(XD)

>Mia: Set up camp against the west wall of the city.

Mia sets up a camp for herself, deciding it would not be a good idea to venture into that forest when it was getting darker.

You hear a rustling sound from a nearby bush.

What will you do now?

>Investigate.
>Move you camp approximately 10 centimeters away, hoping that will keep you safe.
>Ignore it and do a silly dance.

(Mia is like me.
Me is a wimp)

>Mia: Move you camp approximately 10 centimeters away, hoping that will keep you safe.

Mia shuffles her camp over a little bit deciding to ignore the rustling. If she didn't accept it, it wasn't true.

Aimee wrote:

(Mia is like me.
Me is a wimp)

>Mia: Move you camp approximately 10 centimeters away, hoping that will keep you safe.

Mia shuffles her camp over a little bit deciding to ignore the rustling. If she didn't accept it, it wasn't true.

((Game does not recognize "Mia is a wimp like me. Me is a wimp." as a proper command.))

A little black head pokes out of the bushes. Black not as skin color, but this man's face was really completely black.
After much thought, you realize this is one of those mythical--or, not mythical now, you guess--Carapace People you hear about in stories. He has a sash around his shoulder which is unreadable for the moment.

What will you do now?

>Say hello and offer him some food.
>Scream and run.
>Scream and run into the dark forest.

(XD)

>Mia: Say hello, and offer him some food.

"He...hello" she stammers. "Are ...are you hungry?" She asks, reaching for some food.

Aimee wrote:

(XD)

>Mia: Say hello, and offer him some food.

"He...hello" she stammers. "Are ...are you hungry?" She asks, reaching for some food.

((Game does not recognize "XD" as a proper command.))

The man steps out of the bushes and tilts his head. His sash is basically the label on a can of mayo, with "R" written in red ink at the end. Apparently this means he's in some position of power.

...what's a can of mayo?

What will you do now?

>Smile and offer him a seat near you, holding out the food.
>Throw the food in his face and run.

>Mia: Smile and offer him a seat near you, holding out the food.

Mia smiles, looking at the odd little man. "Do you want some of this?" She offers, hoping he will accept her hospitality.

Aimee wrote:

>Mia: Smile and offer him a seat near you, holding out the food.

Mia smiles, looking at the odd little man. "Do you want some of this?" She offers, hoping he will accept her hospitality.

The man nods slowly and waddles up next to her, plopping down on the ground. He holds out his hand.

What will you do now?

>Hand him the food and monologue to him your adventure so far.
>Hand him the food and ask him if he'd like to be your companion.
>Throw the food down on the ground, yelling "TOUCHDOWN!", then run away.
>Pause game; check stats.

>Mia: Hand him the food and ask him if he'd like to be your companion.

"Here" she smiles, offering it to him. "Would you like to come on an adventure with me?" She asks